2013..

New Year's Resolutions

1. I will finish 52 books in 2013.
• These books are a must-but they are not included in the 100: The Words, The Staff of Moses, Iman ve Kufur Muvazeneleri, and Hanimlar Rehberi from the Risale-i Nur Collection by Bediuzzaman Said Nursi.
2. I will finish writing a fiction book of my own. 
3. I will determine my future job, and college choices.
4. I will host a Spanish exchange student. 
5. I will learn to play the ukulele. 
6. I will stop saying "if only..."
• Stop regretting things you did in the past. The past is the past. End of story.  
7. I will stop getting bitter when things don't go as I planned, and stop throwing conniption fits.
8. I will stop mistrusting and disliking people. I will start being an amiable person. 
9. I will find a new hobby. 
10. I will establish a pen pal relationship.
11. I will get a job.
• Doesn't need to last long, I just want the experience. 
12. I will travel to at least 12 places out of my current state, VA. 

I used to hate new year's resolutions because why not just start anytime you felt like you needed to change something in your life? However, it is far more organized to start with a universal beginning and end with a universal ending; and although I am usually against the popular trends, this one helps with my OCD. 

Lots of cats,

-Belle

Charms in Looking For Alaska

Looking For Alaska by John Green, 231 pages

"You just use the future to escape the present."

"You never get me. That's the whole point."

"Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war."

"You shall love your crooked neighbor/ With your crooked heart."

"If people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane."

"When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did."

Charms in Paper Towns

Paper Towns by John Green, 305 pages

"People say friends don't destroy one another. What do they know about friends?" [ This isn't a quote inside the script, it's in the beginning of the book.]

"We were in the business of mutual amusement, and we were reasonably prosperous."

"I realize that humans lack good mirrors. It's so hard for anyone to show us how we look, and so hard for us to anyone how we feel."

"Someone who-- because no one thought she was a person-- had no one to talk to."

"I had seen. I had listened. But I had not yet become the wounded person."

"The rules of capitalization are so unfair to words in the middle of a sentence."

"It's kind of great, being an idea that everybody likes. But I could never be the idea to myself, not all the way."

"Forever is composed of nows."

"But then again, if you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all."

Les Miserables

Today at school I heard the following conversation:

- You know..I recently realized I hate most of the people I know.
+ Really?
- Yeah, but you know who I hate the most?
+ Who?
- The people who are happy..like why are they always happy?
+ I know!! Like especially--

Before I had the chance to hear the rest of this gruesome dialogue I immediately got away from the two creatures, and launched myself into the closest bathroom to wash my face and make sure I didn't puke. I am not sure if I will be able to explain my feelings about this in words but I will certainly try. First of all, what is wrong with this person? Hating people, I understand to a point- but hating happy people. Obviously someone is suffering from joyophobia....Happy people are the core of this world- they are the creative minds, the socially active ones, the crazily insane ones, the always-smiling ones...They are our last hope for humanity, we can't hate them. Happy people are probably the people who require the most attention and admiration, cause believe me they go through the same crap we go through but they put smiles on our faces everyday. They feed on pink cotton candy, glitter, snow crystals and love, if we hate them- they'll go extinct. And then we will all die as les miserables. With this attitude though, it looks like we deserve it.

don't you love tumblr pictures?

-Lots of octopuses
Belle

People Are Overrated

I need to clarify one thing. There is a tremendous difference, and I mean overwhelmingly massive when I say tremendous, between misanthropes and introverts.

introvert:  adj. in-truh-vurt : a shy person.
misanthrope: n., mis-uhn-throhp : a hater of humankind.

Introverts are anti-social and like to be by themselves instead of around others. 
Misanthropes are people who dislike humankind, and distrust human nature.

Being a misanthrope doesn't make me introverted. People need to stop confusing the two and not use them interchangeably. I don't like people, and I think we are overrated. My personal beliefs and philosophies support my perspective, but I know this may change for every individual. However, when one thinks about it, it is evident that we humans have an exalted view of ourselves that we don't necessarily deserve. I talk to people, I form relations, I speak out; I am an extrovert who doesn't get her energy from people, but generates it herself. Self-sufficient I'll say, and I think that's how a person should be. Independent, confident. unafraid. 

-Lots of love
Belle

Me? I am...

Living.
Earthling.
Human.
Female.
Turkish.
American.
Muslim.
Teenager.
Sophomore.
Brunette.
Daughter.
Cousin.
Niece.
Grandchild.
Enemy.
Friend.
Bookworm.
Photographer.
Writer.
Blogger.
Artist.
Cule. (FC Barcelona supporter)
Tea-coholic.
List-maker.
Student.
...
Nurbanu.

What is "identity"? How do you describe yourself? Are three adjectives enough? I think about this all the time. I still don't have an answer.

-Lots of extra lives
Belle

Welcome Movember

Have you heard of No Shave November? or perhaps Movember? If you haven't, well then, now you have. It is considered a little graceless when a girl promotes moustaches for the sake of raising awareness for male cancer initiatives, but dear reader, you know that I am no ordinary girl, so you might as well shift your attention to the real subject.

Movember is a month-long charity event that raises money and awareness for the above cause (male cancers but especially prostate cancer). If you want to know about how this whole movement started, you might as well watch this video here, It has a rather unorthodox way of  a beginning. So, this month, boys grow moustaches - not beards or goatees - moustaches, and earn coolness points. Also they will be appointed to the title "Mo Bro" of the moustache brotherhood.

What about the "Mo Sistas"? Girls, please don't grow moustaches, but don't feel left out either. You can help fundraisers, donate, wear moustche printed clothing, or simply cut this below print out, and tape it onto a baton. That way, you can be like an Italian in the Carnival of Venice. Except, you would hold up a moustache, instead of a mask.

By the way, I know this is kind of frivilous of me to write such a blog entry, but you need to adapt to it, if you are visiting :{

-Lots of connoisseour glances
Belle

Radical Honesty

"The kind of lying that is most deadly is withholding, or keeping back information from someone we think would be affected by it." ~Dr. Brad Blanton

So this coming week, starting Monday, I will try an experiment with my life. I will try to be radically honest for a whole week. Radical honesty is telling everything as you think of it, whatever comes to your brain goes out of your mouth, no censoring, no filtering, no nothing. Every word is out there, and every thought is open to everyone. No lies of any sort, and no worries about what the effect will be on the people around you. ( I got to admit that this part is kind of cruel, but people need to get used to hearing the truth.. )

Where did I get this idea? Multiple resources, but mainly Eli Loker from my favorite TV Show: Lie To Me. Also, I have watched a TED Talk, and read a few articles, so I think this will improve my personality. I hope it will.

So, people who seem to read my blog according to my stats, my next blog post may not be so nice after all.

-Lots of white lies, and cherry pies
Belle

Reading is Cool

I am pretty sure, in the coming years, Facebook will add a new Life Event to its Timeline named "Finished a Book." Because that's how much people are reading these days: near zero. Why? Is it because reading isn't cool? Or is it because since you are gonna live only once, you don't want to waste time reading, you want to go jump off a cliff? Or is it because reading isn't adding to your swag?

Well, whatever the reason, and I know there are so many, people aren't reading and it's really upsetting and angering me. Now, what's it to me right? Why should I care if some peasant-minded people just don't want to read, broaden their vocabulary, learn new things, mature, earn common knowledge, and be sophisticated?

Well it affects me, believe me. Here is how:
I spend around 10 hours in school. And I see an average of 130 people per day whom I converse with. Out of these 130 people, only about 10 of them can carry on an intellectual conversation, and out of the 10, only about 3 of them can continue this conversation without getting exhausted, and at the same time enjoy it. 3 out of 130 is approximately 2.31 %. That, if you ask me, is a pretty low percentage. These 3 people and I need to keep our brains active and be challenged all the time. However, if we are only 3 people, and there are no other soul in the huge building to talk to, then of course we nurture each other, and find comfort in each other's company but we can't confront each other because we have only each other.

That, is how this affects me. I need new friends who can make legitimate arguments and oppose my views. I am asking for way too much? Nah, asking for too much would be if I wanted all these people to be good-looking guys. Which I am not, because that would be distracting.

Anyways, the point is to read. Read anything. Fiction, non-fiction, fan-fiction, newspaper, blog, magazine, anything! As long as you are reading, it's fine. Once you start feeling the imponderable joy of reading, you will advance into a group of elite people your age, called the Council of The SuperReaders (#yourbirthyeargoeshere). And then you will start taking pleasure in little things, and lead a pleasant life.

-Lots of dog-eared pages
Belle <3

One Last Wish

"I wish I could go back to elementary school! Nobody judged me back than, I could wear what I wanted and be myself!"

Honestly, this is one of the reasons why I don't like people. You want to go back to elementary school because you weren't judged and you could wear whatever you wanted and play hop-scotch and be jolly all the time? What is wrong with you? Do you not understand the gravity of your wish?  Do I seriously need to enforce it into your naive little brain? It's all for the good of humankind, the gigantic number of organisms who pollute the earth and act extremely stupid most of the time, but I will do it, this time.

Going back to elementary school doesn't necessarily mean that you won't be judged. A place where you are never to be judged does not exist in our universe. It is out of our perception, so forget about that. You will always be judged, you were judged from the beginning and you will be judged at the end.

When you came to life, people judged how you looked as a baby, how handsome/pretty you were going to turn out, who you were going to look like more, etc. As you grew up, the story goes, you had all your innocent ambitions and crazy dreams that were un-achievable or impossible and you got judged there too. If you were realistic, how broad your imagination was, if you were going to be an average student or a genius.

Then came the legal life of elementary school. Your work was judged by your teachers, and your efforts by your parents. Sure you were wearing your hair in silly little pig-tails and having the time of your life which at the time consisted of only 7 years, but you were being judged.

Middle school had you struggling with its three crazy years of transformation and the limbo of mutating into something called an adult which really didn't turn out as you wanted. You now had responsibilities, guy/girl problems, high school expectations and so on.

The thought of repeating high school makes me want to jump off of  a New York skyscraper. The four egregious years you spent not sleeping, writing essays, solving useless math problems that you would never use again, and taking PE class ( which is hell on earth, itself)...OH, forgot to mention the hassle of SATs and college applications.

So, dear person who wants to go back to elementary school, if you ever discover a hidden time machine or invent one, please consult me before using it. I will happily demonstrate what a good choice would look like, which in my case is, to go to the first day of my amazing, and inspiring, and fabulous job that I will love to do, and be passionate about.

Lots of molecular transporters
-Belle

An Average Day

My dad walked into my room holding a digital camcorder. I was sitting at my desk, in the middle of a math problem, wondering why in the world he was disturbing my concentration. He stopped after he stepped inside and recorded the room in its entirety starting from the wall with my 2 huge bookshelves that actually cover 99% of the wall, to the corner behind the door with my unused yoga mat, and tennis rackets that I have yet to touch if I have the time.

While doing this he said "We are now in the natural habitat of the species Nurbanus studentus," and then he focused the camera on me. While I had the most unattractive curious look on my face, he zoomed and then he continued, "this particular species generally carries a glum expression on its face and appears tired 97% of the time, the remaining 3% is when this species looks relaxed, and that is when it sleeps. This species has been classified as a Homo sapien in the past but because of major differences in mental, social, and physical characteristics it has been outcasted. Some scientists even argue if it should be classified as a living organism, because it is usually treated as a robot and programmed to do tasks, also called chores." 

He turned the camera's focus to my windows which were closed to not let any air in, and covered with thick blue curtains that allowed only 3 ounces of sunlight inside that was for the venus fly trap at the windowsill. He then said, "Nurbanus studentus is capable of sitting for more than 10 hours without the need to budge, alone in a dark room with no sunlight and air which brings scientists to say 'it may have evolved from the early species of Teenus vampirus,' this theory is also supported by its resistance to sleep. Nurbanus studentus feed on food like processed sliced potatoes (aka: chips) that are hidden in their habitat so complexly that only they can find them." 

While I was completely amazed at how much research he had done, he concluded his little documentary with the following sentences, "It is still a mystery to us what the future of the Nurbanus studentus will be like, but stay tuned for the next episode where we will go in depth into the organization of its closet, bookshelves, and backpack." He took a last shot of my face which now was twisted into a Johnny Depp-like confused expression, and left the room as if nothing had happened.

Lots of vampire dreams!
-Belle