The Ultimate "Team"

The spring sports season started about a week ago, and this year I decided to do crew (rowing). Before this point, I had always been able to distinguish team sports from individual sports, like basketball and soccer from golf and tennis. Nevertheless, I didn't realize until today, that the ultimate team sport is rowing. 

In soccer, the team consists of 11 people, in different positions, responsible for different actions, but the scorer is always credited solo. The team wins, with the help of [insert name here]. Of course, there are people who assist the goal, and people who pass the ball through the defense of the opposing team, but they don't get as much credit as the last person to touch the ball before it flies past the goalie's hands. 

In rowing, the 8 rowers, and the coxswain, all need to be synchronized, focused, and attentive. The rowers don't get individual credit, the glory is shared equally. A rower cannot row faster than the rest of her team to show off her skills, because she would mess up the other rowers, alter the direction of the boat, and cause harm to the equipment. Everyone works together, in the deepest meaning of the term, to reach victory. Everyone, is motivated by each other, and everyone is physically and mentally under the same pressure and responsibility. 

There is no I in TEAM.*

*doesn't apply to school group projects

Lots of almonds,

-Belle

Words of Week 3

Quiescent: In a state or period of inactivity or dormancy
Acquiesce: Accept something reluctantly but without protest
Polymath: A person of wide-ranging knowledge or learning.
Autophoby: Fear of being egotistical
Brume: Mist or fog
Thalassic: Of or relating to the sea
Incarnate:  Embodied in flesh; in human form
Decadence: Moral or cultural decline, esp. after a peak of achievement
Ambisinister: Clumsy or unskillful with both hands

Sin-ical

The English language amazes me a little more everyday, but lately something I have realized has been haunting me. This rich and wonderful language apparently lacks the word that is the antonym of "sin." Now you might think, well we have the word "deed," but in the dictionary deed means "something that is done, performed, or accomplished; an act." So we say "good deed," but it is so very rare that we use an adjectival phrase instead of a noun. 

We have a word for "a four-wheeled horse-drawn carriage, designed in 1839; has an open seat for the driver in front of the closed cabin for two or four passengers." Brougham. Yes, brougham. I can't help but think this extremely specific word exists, but the simple, and long speculated word for a good deed doesn't. Perhaps, the person who coined the word sin, was having a cynical day, and wasn't in a good mood. Or, maybe he believed in the philosophy of Thomas Hobbes that all men were evil, and only capable of wrongdoing. 

Who knows, maybe someday in the future we will be using a new word I coined... 

Words of Week 2

Aspectabund: Someone who has an expressive face
Luthier: A violin-maker
Eccentric: Unconventional, slightly strange
Angst: A feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.
Wraith: An insubstantial copy of something: shadow.
Hough: Space behind the knee

Valentine's Day

This holiday is just wrong.
It causes people to be stressed, lowers self-esteem, and is overly-commercialized. Why do we have to be reminded, brainwashed, deluded, deceived, and misled through popular culture, media, and the market to tell people we like them?

Why do we put people in relationships under stress, for buying gifts, and remembering, and why do we hurt the relationships of those who don't have a good memory? Why do we force people to be ungrateful?

Why do we put singles under stress, for being alone, and losing their confidence, and why do we mock them when we see them with valentines from their mothers? Why do we encourage opposite gender valentines? Are we only capable of  platonic love?

Why don't we have an Acquaintances Day or an Enjoy Clean Water Day, or Photosynthesizing Plant Appreciation Day?

Lots of krabby patties,
~Belle

me: tomorrow

7. Know You

i want to know you.
i want to know
the little things
that make you, you

like how you
don't like bread
unless you eat it
with tangerines

and why your
favorite color is turquoise
because you can never
spell it correctly

i want to know
all the little things.
the bread crumbs
and the paint drips.

Words of Week 1

NEW PROJECT!
I am going to do "my favorite words of the week" posts - so here is the first one. 

Logastellus: A person whose enthusiasm for words outstrips his knowledge of them
Herringbone: An arrangement or design resembling the bones in a fish, used esp. in the weave of cloth or the placing of bricks
Paisley: A distinctive intricate pattern of curved, feather-shaped figures based on a pine-cone design from India
Quaquaversal: Directed outwards in all directions from a common center
Kakistocracy:  Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.
Impudent: Not showing due respect for another person
Imprudent: Not showing care for the consequences of an action
Serendipity: The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident

Monsters

I stumbled upon a Word document from last year while I was organizing my folders on my computer, and I think I had a burst of inspiration when I wrote the following.
--

I feel empty. I feel hollow, where my heart once stood, beating, pumping blood, and giving me the precious gift of life. It is not there anymore. Not long ago, someone tore it apart. To little shreds of emotion, and consciousness. I don’t know why they call it heart break, when the heart is torn, and not broken. I seem to know so little about anything anyways. There is always a limit, always a label, always a judgment that is between my deepest passions and me. And no matter how many times I tell myself I don’t care, late at night it all creeps back on me when I am the most alone.

When I was little, I didn't believe in monsters that were hiding under my bed. But nowadays, as I see myself grow, and learn new things, meet new people, I feel the monster under my bed feeding on my experiences. I feel its existence, and I feel it grinning with the sweet taste of revenge, because I didn't believe in it back then, it came back to make me believe in it now. Thinking that I have a heart to feel scared, silly monster, I was never afraid of you, I will never be.

But I fear one monster, one that is inside of me. The most dangerous, the most lethal. It is the one that offers the risky options, the free choices, and it's the one that leads me down the endless paths, and builds walls to make me feel lost and empty. I am empty. My brain thinks it can handle it, everything will be better without the heart, after all wasn't it the heart that caused all this in the beginning? But I want my heart back. I want it back, fixed.

--

Lots of dreams, 

Belle

The GEM Foundation

As I sat in class today, thinking about the marvels of the male characters Jane Austen created, I was struck with a brilliant idea. If modern science somehow advances in the areas of resurrection, or manages to embed dead geniuses' brains into robots and computer programs, my idea will work perfectly.

The plan has three phases. First phase is to bring Jane Austen's mind back to life using cutting-edge science and groundbreaking technology. Second  phase is loading her brain with genetic engineering information. Third phase comes fairly naturally; her ideas about what a man is ought to be and her newly injected knowledge of genetic engineering will lead to the birth of Homo darcius. Homo darcius will be a developed species of the common men, distinguished, unique, and allow me to say "genteel."

A man of this species will have the manners and etiquette of the ideal Janeite man, and he will indeed converse in a charming British accent. If he loves, he will love with all his sincerity and on his honor, and his declaration of his sentiments will prove irresistible. His physical appearance will be a mirror of his inner amiability and pleasant temper. His intelligence will demonstrate his superiority and his humor will certainly delight all the ladies. His attentions will be focused, and in the materialistic world he will undoubtedly be rich and prosperous.

The GEM Foundation, is the supposed organization in my mind that will sponsor this project. GEM stands for "Genetically Engineered Men," and if you are smart enough, you must have realized this name is perfect because these new men will be as precious as gems such as jadeites and red diamonds.

Lots of cravats,
-Belle

Charms in Pride and Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, 279 pages

"I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine."

"It is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life."

"I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love."
"Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away."

"My ideas flow so rapidly that I have not time to express them -- by which means my letters sometimes convey no ideas at all to my correspondents."

"My good opinion once lost is lost forever."

"We are each of unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb."

"The expression of his face changed gradually from indignant contempt to a composed and steady gravity."

"There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense."

"Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing, after all."

"My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me."

"I certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those I have never met before."

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

"It was not in her nature, however, to increase her vexations by dwelling on them."

"But how little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue."

"He is a gentleman; I am a gentleman's daughter, so far we are equal."

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." [Mr.Darcy on how/when he begun to love Elizabeth]

No Facebook February

This post is 4 days late, however I have had only limited time each day to update my blog and I used that time to write my poems - which I intend to finish at number 10. The reason for not continuing "a poem a day" tag is that I would rather have a separate, simple blog for my poems rather than them clouding up my rather intellectual blog. So, I will publish a new page with a link to it, God willing.

Anyhow, I deactivated my Facebook account, along with the deletion of my Instagram account. This month, I hope to spend the time I reserved for the aforementioned social networking website and app for reading and writing infinitely. In other words, I wish to be productive and fruitful in my work, and in the process recover my emotional and mental health to a green level. I expect to be more focused and start a few new projects in my life.

On an entirely different note, today in English, while giving an impromptu speech in front of the class I managed to say the nonexistent yet frequently uttered word "badder" instead of the grammatically and universally accepted "worse." Before I could stop the sounds escaping from my mouth, they arranged themselves in a manner so embarrassing and disgusting, after I said it, I had to gulp down my shame and agony. I quickly corrected myself, but my fellow classmates had already engraved my speaking abilities as inadequate in their memories, and they were all laughing at my mistake. I laughed along, but inside I was dying, disintegrating into small pieces of disgrace, and withering like a cut flower time-lapse. I have brought dishonor to myself, and how will I continue to speak this language, I do not yet know.

Lots of Polaroids,
~Belle

6. Footprints

snow covered sidewalks
where I can leave fresh footprints
that have the chance of being followed
by people I don't know.
and when concealed with
a new layer of white
i will imprint my path
again.
--

5. Matryoshka Dolls

Dolls
Red, wooden
Portraying, representing, symbolizing
Bones in a closet
Matryoshkas
--
This is one of my favorite types of poems: cinquain.

4. Prostration

I stand before you
I leave everything behind
I face you
Afraid to appear blind

I praise you
I praise your creation
I see its value
I bow down without option

I rise again
I rise to tell you
I'm only a madman
Here to serve you

And when I prostrate
All my sins fall off my back
And I can't sit straight
Because I backtrack

My forehead meets the ground
I praise you
And I am no longer drowned
In a black hue

I sit on the prayer rug
I pray to you
Because prayer is my drug
And only one to answer is you.

And my tears fall
As I realize once again
Without you I  stall
But you don't abandon me then.

I leave the prayer rug
Unfolded, inviting.
--